Christ Centered Marriage

I had a plan for today's blog and this what not it. We didn't go to church yesterday. We had a busy weekend, I was exhausted, Tyler was exhausted... we have a very busy week ahead. These are not excuses. It just didn't work out. Sometimes you have to listen to your body and soul and know when you need a day to rest. Even when we don't go to church, I listen to a sermon online. My go to online services are Life Church with Craig Groeschel or Passion City with Louie Giglio. Both are incredible. I decided to listen in with Life Church this week because they have a series right now called Relationship Goals. Since I spent some time on the blog last week talking about marriage and love and investing in your marriage, I thought it was a fitting way to end the week. I didn't plan on sharing it here, but after listening and reflecting I couldn't NOT share it.

Craig and his wife Amy have been married close to 27 years. Now, I don't know about you, but in this day and time- when people have been married that long- I tend to listen to see how they have navigated life and marriage. Chances are, they are going to have some good advice to tell you, or at least some good stories! 

The sermon I listened to today was the first in this series- entitled "Christ Centered". There are four messages in the series. I think I will most likely go back and listen to the others as well. Craig started off talking about how man and woman were created, how man is not to be alone, and how man and woman become 1. (Genesis). The whole relationship of man and woman was created by God. 

He then went on to discuss how we look at people's pictures and stories and lives on social media and in the world. We think "relationship goals"... we want that. What we don't see is the work that is put into those relationships. Anyone can post a pretty picture on social media, but behind that there are fights and miscommunication and misunderstandings, and challenges. It is good to want something other than what has become the norm today- anger, distrust, divorce.... all things that happen when two people are together but doing their own thing and not having a similar vision in life. 

The number one thing that people mistake is thinking that you have to find the "one" to truly be happy in life. What we don't realize is that we already have the ONE, if we chose to have Him. God should be #1. He should top the list of priorities in all things we do. He should come before your spouse. Without him you wouldn't even be here to have a spouse. It is when we put other things before him that we start to see things unravel and our world tends to be scattered, a hot mess, unfulfilled. The key to that list is that your spouse should be #2! Not your house or job or money or material things or kids. Your spouse. 

When you put God as #1, you have a truly Christ centered life. It is about more than going to church or reading your bible. It is about putting him at the top of all things. When you do that it makes an impact on your values and beliefs. Then, that impacts the actions and decisions that you make. With that, it changes the impact and influence that you have on the world around you. See how that has an effect? BUT none of that is possible if you don't have God as #1. 
One thing that Craig truly believes helps couples to lead a more Christ centered life is praying together daily. I am not going to lie- I kinda cringed when he said this. While my husband and are Christ followers, we have never really prayed together. He does his thing and I do my own. We view it more privately. Well, as Craig said there are lots of things you do in front of your spouse that are private (like going to the bathroom- lol- did I mention he always makes me laugh in his sermons as well?). True, true Craig! If you can do those things, you can pray together. He gave three tips- Keep it short, keep it consistent, and if you miss a day, don't miss two. He said you can start simple and build up. It doesn't have to be 30 minutes of prayer. It doesn't have to be complicated. He just suggested you give it a try. The only thing it can do is build your relationship up and make it stronger! The devil is always on attack, especially to those who are true believers and have the faith. It is constant warfare. Wouldn't you rather have that prayer be something else to use in that battle? I know I would. I think we will give it a go. 

My challenge to you this week: Pray with your spouse. See how it changes your week. 

I have linked the sermon below. If you are ever in need of some faith, some Jesus....Craig is great. 


https://www.life.church/media/relationship-goals/christ-centered/

Investing in your marriage

So, as we wrap up this Valentine's Day week, I thought I would talk about a subject that is very near and dear to my heart! Something that I have struggled with before. When you become a parent it is very hard not to allow the kids to take over your life and become your #1 priority. Babies and kids are needy. They rely on you for everything for a long time. You feed them, clothe them, teach them, play with them, change them, put them to sleep and so much more. It is hard not to let it overwhelm other areas in your life. 

What I have learned is this: your marriage needs to come first. One day your kids will be grown and gone. You and your spouse will be left with each other. The key is: did you spend time investing in each other to grow that relationship and prepare for that time?

I love my son and soon-to-be daughter. I love being a mom. Nothing makes me happier than waking up to my son daily and spending time with him. BUT, I also enjoy time with my husband. ALONE. We don't get it as often as we would like. We are busy working, tending to the house, going to church, and just having down time. There are many weekends we just stay home and don't do anything. We do, however, make an effort to get away and have dates as often as we can. 

There is something about having dinner without a toddler asking for things. There is something about driving in the car without hearing Mickey Mouse playing on the dvd in the back. There is something about going to a movie in peace and quiet. It allows us to connect, sometimes reconnect, if it's been a while. 

I am not saying your kids should not be a priority. They absolutely should be and are for me. What I am saying is there needs to be times when your spouse IS the priority. When you take time for each other without kids. Often we forget that we are the models for what our kids will expect in the world. How we grow up and what we see is often how we think it should be. How our parents are, how they interact, experiences we have as kids...all of it molds us and we often try to mimic or do the same in our relationships. So, what we show our kids is what they expect to be the "norm". I want to show my kids a loving relationship. A happy relationship. I want them to see us invest in each other and know that is important. 

What do you do to strive to make your spouse a priority? Date nights, vacations, alone time? 

Let's talk routine!

Routine- a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program. (other words used to describe it- procedure, practice, pattern, regimen)

It sounds kinda scary doesn't it? Or it sounds more like HARD work than anything. Until it's not. It took me a long time to realize that establishing a routine, making a permanent part of what you do, and learning to love that routine makes it NOT hard and NOT scary. In all honesty, I crave routine. I enjoy routine. Even when it's not fun stuff that I have to do- like laundry or dishes. At the end of the day, it makes me feel so much more calm and relaxed when things are done. It also is its own accountability system. You can easily tell if someone is off routine. It may be they look a hot mess, their house is a hot mess, they are late, they forget something....the list goes on. Now, I am not trying to say that every day will be perfect. IMPOSSIBLE. BUT, I am saying that a little routine can go a long way to making life better and easier. 

Here's a rundown of my working mom routine on a regular school day:

6:00- Wake up- I might hit snooze once, but I am definitely up by 6:10.

6:10-6:30- Hair, makeup, dressed for day. My Ever skincare and makeup routine make it super easy to do this quickly! See our beautiful palette, mascara, and lip gloss below! I make it a routine to have clothes picked out for the week so that I am not searching for an outfit. In face, I iron everything that my husband and I will wear to work for the week on Sundays. Takes 30 minutes, makes life easier!

6:30-7:00- I usually pop some oatmeal in the microwave to cook while I am unloading the dishwasher, packing lunches, and just straightening up the living room and kitchen. I might take something out for dinner or put something in the crock pot. I always meal plan. I us ClickList from Kroger and grocery shop once every 3-4 weeks. I freeze a lot of stuff- bread, cheese, whatever so that I am not constantly at the store. I make one run a week to get fresh fruit and maybe milk or something small I have forgotten. ClickList is a GAME CHANGER. No more browsing the aisles and getting unneeded stuff. No searching the stores for what you need. They do it for you, you pull up and they load up ALL your groceries! Done deal!

A little after 7:00, I am out the door and off to work! 7:30-3:30 is my work schedule. Sometimes we have meetings or other obligations, but for the most part I am off and home by 4:00 every day. 

When I get home, I usually visit with my son, have a snack with him and then get changed into work clothes. I am currently doing Beachbody on Demand. Occasionally I will get in a workout on my lunch break, but sometimes it is at home and I never spend more than 30 minutes on it. By 5:00-515 I am done and ready to get dinner going or finished. We eat around 6:00. After dinner and cleaning up, it is play time and then bath time. I aim for 7:30 to be relaxing as a family. bedtime is between 9:00-10:00. Then it is time to do it all again.

Other things I do around the house that are routine:

I clean, like really DEEP clean, every 2 weeks. Otherwise, I keep things picked up, the floors cleaned, and bathrooms cleaned weekly.

I do laundry twice during the week usually and then finish on the weekend.

I pay bills when we get paid twice a month, usually on that day so that I don't forget or let things slip away from me.

We have old people medicine containers LOL! I fill those up on Sundays so that we have all our meds and vitamins set out for the week and we aren't fumbling with bottles.

We hire someone to mow our grass- game changer, time saver.

We usually make runs once a month to get haircuts, household items, car washed (we pay for that too), and run errands. 

I use Amazon Prime for EVERYTHING else we need in between. Stuff for home or work- I order it and in 2 days it is on my porch.

I have subscribe orders for things like diapers and wipes, coffee, dog food. It comes and I don't even have to think about it. 

We regularly clean out and purge clothes and items we don't use around the house. That alone has become a routine and makes us all feel better when we have less clutter hanging around. 

Organization and routine are key for me as a working mom. It makes me feel more sane on the crazy days. It helps me to enjoy those things like working out, cooking dinner, washing clothes....because it is not stressful. 

What are your daily routines? What do you do to make life easier? How can you incorporate any of these things into your routine to try and live a healthier life, get some exercise, get some rest?