Investing in your marriage

So, as we wrap up this Valentine's Day week, I thought I would talk about a subject that is very near and dear to my heart! Something that I have struggled with before. When you become a parent it is very hard not to allow the kids to take over your life and become your #1 priority. Babies and kids are needy. They rely on you for everything for a long time. You feed them, clothe them, teach them, play with them, change them, put them to sleep and so much more. It is hard not to let it overwhelm other areas in your life. 

What I have learned is this: your marriage needs to come first. One day your kids will be grown and gone. You and your spouse will be left with each other. The key is: did you spend time investing in each other to grow that relationship and prepare for that time?

I love my son and soon-to-be daughter. I love being a mom. Nothing makes me happier than waking up to my son daily and spending time with him. BUT, I also enjoy time with my husband. ALONE. We don't get it as often as we would like. We are busy working, tending to the house, going to church, and just having down time. There are many weekends we just stay home and don't do anything. We do, however, make an effort to get away and have dates as often as we can. 

There is something about having dinner without a toddler asking for things. There is something about driving in the car without hearing Mickey Mouse playing on the dvd in the back. There is something about going to a movie in peace and quiet. It allows us to connect, sometimes reconnect, if it's been a while. 

I am not saying your kids should not be a priority. They absolutely should be and are for me. What I am saying is there needs to be times when your spouse IS the priority. When you take time for each other without kids. Often we forget that we are the models for what our kids will expect in the world. How we grow up and what we see is often how we think it should be. How our parents are, how they interact, experiences we have as kids...all of it molds us and we often try to mimic or do the same in our relationships. So, what we show our kids is what they expect to be the "norm". I want to show my kids a loving relationship. A happy relationship. I want them to see us invest in each other and know that is important. 

What do you do to strive to make your spouse a priority? Date nights, vacations, alone time? 

Our love story

I was that girl. The single girl. The 30something and single girl. The one everyone asked "when are you going to settle down? Get married?"........ it felt like I was single FOREVER. My friends were all getting married and having kids and there I was- STILL single. I had honestly started to lose hope that there was someone out there for me. I had settled into single life and accepted it. I traveled, spent time with family and friends, put time into fitness, and just tried to keep busy with things so I didn't think about being SINGLE. Society has a way of making you feel like you are on a timeline and you have to be married by a certain age. Well, I wasn't and my story still has a happy ending.

I met Tyler when I was 31. I was starting another year of teaching in my hometown at the school I love. Everyone had joked with me for years that I needed to get out, explore, go places...because surely Prince Charming wasn't going to walk into Port Bolivar, TX and steal my heart. Boy, were they wrong. The circumstances that brought Tyler to this town are a little crazy, but something we truly believe had to happen in order for him to be brought here to me. Anyways, after the craziness of that situation died down, Tyler nervously asked me on a date. This was after many little match makers on our school campus helped boost his confidence to do so. I said yes- all the while thinking- he is too young for me (6 years younger) and oh, well- it'll be a free dinner if nothing else. LOL! I had no idea what was about to hit me.


We went on our first date in September of 2014. We both like football so we went to a local restaurant that had great outdoor seating and lots of TVs to watch the games. Casual. Prior to this, we had talked and text some, but that night we talked a lot about life and family and all things. I remember we both didn't want the night to end. Something happened. It was like it just "clicked" as cliche as that sounds. From that moment on, we went on many more dates and spent a lot of time together. We weren't traditional by any means. By Christmas 2014, we were engaged and married in March of 2015.

Since then, we have bought a home in this little town we met in. We have acquired a spoiled Boston Terrier named Nola, a little boy who is 2 named Landry, and baby girl Lydia to complete our family who is on the way in April. We have made a pretty beautiful life. We work together at the school where he first asked me out. We are God lovers, sports watchers, travelers, fitness junkies, and most importantly spouses and parents. I can't imagine spending life with anyone else.

So, for those of you who are single ladies and out there thinking it will never happen. Don't give up hope. I truly believe God has a plan. His timing is perfect. Trust in him with your whole heart. 

Happy Valentine's Day! May you all have LOVE!