Wow! I can't believe it has been a whole YEAR since I have written a blog post. CRAZY! This year has definitely been that. There have been many changes in my life over the past year. I doubt I even have followers to read about it, but I love to write. I love to see it on the screen. It is almost a therapy for me.
First and foremost, I continued counting macros until summer hit. I am a teacher and I get off all summer. I splurged. I drank. I ate. I went on vacation. I didn't work out. I wasted money on macro calculations and didn't even do it. I gained. More about that later.
Second, I found my way back to church. I was baptized. I was already baptized as a child, but the church I was attending at the time and the way I felt, I did it again. No need to harp on that. I felt good about it. I am about 80% of the way through reading the bible completely. It has always been a goal, but I have never completed it. This year I will. I am in a good place. I feel closer to God than I ever have.
Third, I met a man. He walked right into my little school here in Port Bolivar, TX and started working here. He asked me on a date. We went. A month later, he moved in. 3 months later, he proposed and 6 months later, we were married. March 16, 2015- the day I changed my name. I am so in love with this man. At 32 today, I didn't know if God had a man for me. I didn't know what life would bring. Well, God surprised me with the most amazing man ever. He is everything I ever dreamed of and so much more. We had an elopement style wedding with just our family and my best friend. It was perfect. I don't regret not having a big wedding. It was our day. No big crowds. No distractions. I loved every moment.
And lastly, since this blog is about fitness somewhat. I have gained 20 lbs since last year. Yep, 20! I still fit in almost all my clothes. Crazy, huh? I still have moments where I looks in the mirror and feel really good about myself. I have moments where I feel really bad also. For some reason, the past few days it really hit me. I thought about being 32. I thought about all the years I have obsessed about my weight. I thought about all the times I tracked food. Denied myself something, because it might make me fat. Hated my body. Obsessed over working out. Felt bad about eating something. Eating too much because I was starting a diet on Monday. Ate more than I was hungry for because "it's ok, I already messed up. After this, I will quit.". There have been so many days where I have felt bad. So many days where I have felt deprived. Too much time measuring and tracking. Why do I do this? Because I want to be skinny.. I want to look good.. but why? God loves me no matter what. My husband loves me. My family and friends love me. Getting to a certain weight does not define who I am. It will not make me happy. I am tired. I am tired of worrying. Tired of stressing. Tired of counting. Tired of looking at myself in disgust. Tired of it all. I want to LIVE. I mean, really live. I don't think I was put on this Earth to spend my life doing this. So, I'm not. I quit. Does that mean that I am going to go crazy? NO! I am not going to go around eating cupcakes and pizza and laying on my butt. I am going to eat healthy. Eat when I am hungry. Stop when I am full. Enjoy the bites. I am going to stop looking at food as good or bad. Stop looking at it as a carb, protein, or fat. Stop looking at it as 300 calories or 80 calories. Stop thinking about carb cycling, low carb, macros, calorie counting, calorie deficit, calories in and out, blah blah blah. I am going to eat as healthy as possible. I am going to enjoy life. I am going to have something sweet here and there. I am going to eat the cookie. I am going to have the drink. I am going to workout and enjoy it. I will lift. I might run. I will be active. I will wake up with a smile on my face. I will tell myself I love myself and how beautiful I am. Simply- life is too short. This will be extremely hard for me. I can't tell you the last time I didn't worry about food or track or try the newest diet fad. I am done. DONE! Here's to a new chapter, whatever it may bring- I am ready! This may be the best gift I can give myself. Oh, and I bought a book to go with it. I love Joyce and I really do need to learn to lighten up! :) "Eat the cookie, buy the shoes!" is my new read!
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
It's my BIRTHDAY! SHAKE MY BOOTY! haha! Actually, I am sick as a dog today. I have an ear infection and a sinus infection and was put on meds yesterday, which have still not officially "kicked in" yet, so I still feel like poo. I guess once you turn 30, you start to fall apart.. I am officially 31 and today I feel every bit of that age!
I have still been couting my macros. I have still been hitting my workouts hard, until yesterday. I did not workout yesterday and honestly do not think I will today either. I just don't feel good at ALL! I splurged over the weekend. I had a few drinks Friday night and Saturday night. Saturday I took a break from macros counting. I spent time with friends and family and just wanted to enjoy the day and celebrate my bday. Life happens sometimes. I never promised I would be perfect and I guarantee you I will never be when it comes to this. I enjoy food sometimes, I like a drink or too, and I realize that life is too short to stress over every single little thing. I stepped on the scale this morning and am still 155! BOOM! I have not made any progress, but I have not gained either. With everything going on with my birthday, friends and family in town, and being sick as heck, I am completely OK with that. I WILL GET THERE! Wherever there is. I don't want to search for the "end" of this. I want to enjoy every step of the journey.
I feel even more pumped about that after watching Layne Norton's new video yesterday. Check it out!
If you haven't watched any of his other videos, make sure to watch them. He is truly inspiring and not just because he has an amazing physique but because he has a great attitude, philosophy, and honetly LOVES what he does. I encourage you all to find something you are passionate about. Enjoy every day. Don't worry about being a certain size, weight, or reaching a particular goal. Like I said, there is no "end" here. If you get to a certain weight, it is not going to bring you happiness. Life is a journey! It is meant to be enjoyed, every step of the way!
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Yep, you read right- I have been stuck. Stuck between 157-158 for a while now. I know why. I know it's the weekend "oh well, its ok" eating. It's the FREEDOM of being able to eat what I want and getting carried away. I am not proud of some of the choices I have made, but I am ok with the fact that I have maintained my weight and am still losing inches. I have learned to not let the scale bother me, it is not the only way to show success. I almost have to replace everything in my closet including bras, bathing suits, shorts, pants, and even shirts because of the changes I am seeing. I am slowly learning that I have to stick to the plan; I have to hit my macros every day. I have to wake up each day with a good attitude, ready to do everything I can to make that day good. I have to power through my workouts, always challenging myself. I know I can do this. I have done much harder things. A couple of things I have realized as of late: 1. I can have anything I want, but I have to plan ahead. I have had to say no to going out a few times, because I simply didn't have it planned in my macros. Don't get me wrong- I go out to eat, I eat what I want, but sometimes I just simply don't have enough left in the day because eating out includes a lot more fat than you may realize. Look at Chili's menu for example- whoa! So, sometimes I will have to say no if my friends or family don't let me plan ahead. On a good note, if I do- I can usually get through the day and save a LOT of macros for that meal and get something I REALLY REALLY want! YUM! 2. Drinking is just not good for what I want to do with my life. Am I saying I will never drink again, HECK NO! I am sure I will have a drink here and there. After 3 months of not drinking a drop, I have gotten carried away a few times and it never turns out good. That is probably part of the reason I have been stuck. So, done with that and that is fine with me. I would much rather eat my calories than drink them anyways. 3. The IIFYM lifestyle and joining Team LP3 is the absolute best decision I have ever made in regards to my health and fitness, with exception of just beginning to care about it years ago. I love the flexibility. I love being able to incorporate my favorite foods. I love my coaches. I love my team. I love that this is a true LIFESTYLE that can be maintained. I love that they teach you. I love that they still help competitors prep and don't change the fact that you can use macros to do that- no tilapia or asparagus. 4. I actually believe I will get to where I want to be now. I don't think it is going to happen in a month or even two. I do know it WILL happen though. One of my coaches posted in our group yesterday and it was a comment that came from Layne Norton (who is the bomb.com by the way) and it was so true and real- it said: "If you think you are the only one who's ever had it tough, you are wrong. You are WRONG. If you have a passion, if you have a dream, if you have a goal, then at some point you've been crushed. You've wanted to quit. If it was easy everyone would do it. It's EASY to be motivated when everything is going well. CHAMPIONS find a way to stay motivated when everything goes to hell and nothing is going right. I wanted to quit my PhD. I failed over and over and over and over and OVER again. HUNDREDS OF TIMES. Some of you all will have no idea how many times I've failed and how badly I wanted to quit. But thankfully I didn't. I focused on the GRIND. Every single day. Did whatever it took every single day. And eventually, I made it out the other side. But my story is nothing. Success is a battle of attrition. If you really want something, do you think quitting is going to get you closer to it? No. Will quitting suddenly make you want your goal more? No. KEEP FIGHTING TEAMMATES! It's NOT easy. Changing your body starts with changing your lifestyle, your mentality, your soul, your drive, your work ethic, your discipline. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN IN TWO MONTHS. Yeah you may lose some weight, but you will not have an absolute new physique in two months. If you want that, go get on some unrealistic program that has you doing two hours of cardio a day on top of your one hour training session, eating only chicken, tilapia, asparagus, and almonds. That's no way to live, that's hell. Learn to enjoy the journey. Quit whining. It's hard. We all have to fight for it. I have cried, I have broken down when the changes seemed like they take FOREVER to come. BUT I HAVE NEVER QUIT and I certainly do not whine to ANYBODY about it. I pull myself up, I dig deeper, I look for ways I can improve and I do my best every day. Remember- ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING! AMEN!!!! Have a great day people!
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
You know that size that you never think you can fit in? Well, you can! I remember always having to buy a size bigger, creeping up to 10s, 12s... and hating every minute of it. I remember wanting to cry thinking about buying an even bigger size. It is crazy that we let numbers define us. We look at the number inside a pair of jeans or on a scale and it lets us know how we should feel. Sad, but true. I don't gauge my happiness on it, but I will celebrate my success! I remember the day I fit in a size 8 pant and I remember jumping around in the dressing room with a huge smile on my face. It was an amazing feeling, I was out of the double digit sizes. It felt good. Well, I went between an 8 and a 10 for what seemed like FOREVER! And by forever, I mean years. I tried to diet, exercise, tried low carb, restrictive eating, eating "good" during the week, not drinking, so many, many, many things. Nothing worked. I stayed the same. Well, after having two sets of coaches and finally finding a lifestyle that works for me- IIFYM has done it for me. I am so happy, I could scream. I love my coaches- www.ledbetterproject.com and I know this is a lifestyle for me. I went shopping over the weekend and I wanted to get A new pair of jean shorts, because all of mine are too big (not complaining- already donated them!). I grabbed a 7/8 and then thought "oh heck, try on a 5/6 for shits and giggles", so I did! And guess what? Those MF'ers FIT! I stared in the mirror in disbelief. The last time I wore that size I was probably a freshman or sophmore in HIGH SCHOOL! It has been forever. Commence the jumping up and down, smiling ear to ear, so excited! So, I bought two pairs! LOL! I couldn't help myself! It is not about the number. It is about the success, it is about the sweat and tears, the effort, the hard work. THAT is what is more important to me. SO, if you want to give up- don't. If you don't think it's possible- it is! If you feel like you can't do it- YOU CAN!
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
I started with the LEDBetter group on March 15. I got a ton of information to read on that Friday night. The book, examples, food list, and everything else they include with their "welcome packet" is amazing. It is a lot to read, but I learned a lot. On Saturday, my amazing coach contacted me and gave me my macros plan and training plan for the first 3 months. I officially started on Sunday. I counted everything I put in my mouth and I did my first leg day. I have been consistent with it for a little over 2 weeks now. So far:
FOOD- I have ate a LOT! I am able to eat anything I want, as long as it fits in my daily macros allotment. I know there are a lot of misconceptions out there about IIFYM and how much junk people eat. I used to look at those bowls of peanut butter, ice cream, and chocolate on IG and think- WTF?! Now I understand. You can have things, all things, IN MODERATION PEOPLE. I cannot sit around and eat pop tarts and junk food all day and meet my protein, carb, and fat intake. But I can occasionally have a pop tart in my diet, because it will count towards my carbs for the day. It is all about balance. I eat a TON of healthy foods and a few less healthy things, but I am not blowing up yet! LOL! The great thing is that if I know I am going to have a certain thing for dinner or go out on the weekend to eat, I can plan my day around that and actually not feel GUILTY, because I am still giving my body what it needs to function and work properly. I am no expert on this by no means. I started counting my macros a few weeks ago, on my own. I went to www.iifym.com and got a macros count for myself through that website. It is not the same thing as what was provided to me by my coach, so I highly recommend getting a professional to help you. Macros are so specific to the person and depend on so many factors: how much you weigh, your job and lifestyle, activity level, body type, etc. My coaches are with www.ledbetterproject.com. I am only on week3 and I feel confident I made the right choice chosing them for this new lifestyle change journey I am taking. You get a whole team of people to support you and guide you in not only making the changes, but learning how to incoporate the IIFYM lifestyle yourself FOREVER. That's what I love about them. They are teaching me, not just coaching me.
WORKOUTS- My trainer, Brooke, is great. The workouts are hard, but I know they are doing what they are supposed to. I have been SO SORE! I do a combination of weight training, HIIT cardio, and TRX. I love the burn. I love being sore. I love working hard. I love that I don't have to do fasted cardio. I love that there is so much variety in my workouts. I love that they are personalized to ME and not everyone else is doing the same workouts I am. The best part about it all-- my alarm does not go off at 4:30 for fasted cardio. I do not have to do cardio 2 x a day. In fact, I do HIIT 2 x a week and the other 3 days I only do 20 minutes of cardio in intervals. I am not a huge cardio fan, although I do occasionally love a good run. So, it's true:
Progress: At the end of my previous program I was fluctuating between 156-158 and mostly staying at 158 toward the end. After ending that plan and also enjoying spring break and probably indulging too much, I weighed in at 160. After 2 weeks on the plan, I am down 2 lbs and weighed in at 158 this morning. Progress is progress, no matter how small. I can definitely see a difference in my clothes. They are falling off. I will have to shop soon. I know, what a shame. LOL! The greatest part about this is that I eat WHAT I WANT. I do not feel deprived AT ALL! I can have a cheeseburger, ice cream, whatever I want, in moderation. I am not eating tilapia and green veggies only. I can fit whatever I want into my macros and I feel my diet is much more balanced now. I feel happier, less stressed and so much bettter about this plan. I love the people on the team. I interact with them via facebook, IG, and with my coach on a weekly basis. They are helpful, encouraging, and realistic. I already know I will more than likely sign up to continue with them after my 3 months is over. That's how amazing this lifestyle is. Check them out. Look at some of Layne Norton's videos at biolayne.com I am a believer and I know it works. There is a way to lose weight and not feel like you hate your diet or that you are even ON a diet. There is a way to manage your food to fit what you need and what you want. This is the lifestyle change I have been looking for! :)
If you have any questions, email me at email@example.com and I will answer the best I can. I am no expert but I am learning!
Friday, March 7, 2014
As I stated in my last post- I had to make a tough decision to make recently. After 12 weeks with my coach, I decided not to sign up again for that program. I would love to think that I could eat "clean" for the rest of my life, but that is just not realistic for me. I am a social person. I LOVE to go out to eat, love an occasional drink, and love to be out and about enjoying life. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. I decided to do some serious research and find a new coach that could help me find a true LIFESTYLE change. I don't want to call it a diet. I don't want there to be an end to it. I want to find something that I can do to balance out my life FOREVER. I want to be FIT. I want to WORKOUT. I want to be HEALTHY. I want to LIVE. After interviewing probably 12 different coaches all over the United States, I have decided to go with the LED Better Project. Check them out at www.ledbetterproject.com I asked so many questions and got a quick response from Jessi Jean, one of the 3 or 4 or 5 people I will be working with. That's right- I will have a TEAM, not just one coach. I am beyond excited. Their mission is to help everyone learn to Live Every Day Better- to take steps every day to make improvements with your body, mind, and soul. I am so excited. I will get my plan on March 15 and start right away! I will be using the IIFYM method. I have done a lot of research on it and also watched a bazillion videos from Layne Norton at www.biolayne.com . He is amazing and has a wealth of knowledge to share. The group at LEDBetter follows his philosophy. Basically IIFYM takes into consideration many things including your weight, height, body composition, activity level, etc and then a plan is created that will tell you how many grams of carbs, proteins, and fats to eat every day. I think Jessi Jean caught my attention when she said skinny cow ice cream and POP TARTS! Lol there is this big misconception that people on IIFYM sit around and eat pop tarts all day, which is so not true. BUT if I want one, I can have it and not feel a thousand pounds of guilt about it. I can pretty much eat what I want as long as it fits my macros. Does that mean I am going to dive off the deep end? No! I know I need healthy, nutrient rich foods in my body. I know I can't get all those nutrients from totally unhealthy foods. It's all about balance people. I actually went to IIFYM.com and got my macros to get started getting used to counting everything again. Are they totally accurate? Probably not because they don't have pictures of me, they didn't send me a questionnaire (which Ledbetter did and they asked me everything so they could get to know me), and it's just a rough estimate. I have been doing it for a little over a week. I went to round 2 of Mardi Gras, I ate, drank, counted my macros all week, celebrated my best friends birthday and didn't feel guilty and guess what?? I didn't lose a pound but I didn't gain one either! I have maintained the same weight since I got back from New Orleans. I am so excited to see what the plan is and there will be much more to come as I learn :) cheers to a better life every day!