Saturday, January 11, 2014

The emotional part of this journey...

This week I had a "meltdown". I woke up and got on the scale and didn't see a number that made me happy. I was walking around the house saying "oh yea, this plan is really going to work", "what was I thinking???", "what did I sign up for?". The weeks of saying no to foods I want and only eating to fuel my body finally piled up. I let that number define me and determine how my day was going to be. I let it gauge my progress. I e-mailed my coach and told her how sad I was that the scale was not moving. My coach is awesome- Wendy from . She is always there via text or e-mail when I need her. She is supportive, yet realistic. I got an e-mail back from her and she was "real" with me. She reminded me that this is a journey and it takes time- it is about more than a number on a scale- it's about changing my life. She reiterated to me that I need to focus on the changes I make and not every day progress. At first, I was kinda hurt that I didn't get more sympathy or whatever it was I was looking for. BUT as the week went on, I realized she was right. I have struggled for so long with "diets" and working to see the end of whatever healthy eating I put in place. That has not helped me be successful. It really is a lifestyle change and not just a short-term plan. Am I going to eat the way I am right now forever? Probably not. Am I ever going to eat another cheeseburger again. Probably. BUT I am learning that my eating is going to have to consist of way more clean eating than anything else to get to and maintain this lifestyle. I feel better. I have more energy. I sleep better. I know I am making changes that will hopefully prevent me from having heart disease and all the other medical problems that run in my family. I AM WORTH IT. It is more important to me to make this big change that to continue to struggle with "diets" and feel self-conscious, worried, stressed, and be unhappy. I do have to explain to all my friends and family that I am making lifestyle changes. I do get the "what?!" and stares, they can't believe I won't have a drink or go out to eat... it's uncomfortable at times, it's not always fun, and it can sometimes be very frustrating. I read on this girl's IG that you will lose people in your life when you make these drastic changes and she was right. It will change your life, but it is so worth it! I have finally reached my breaking point- when will you reach yours? You won't regret taking control and making lifestyle changes! :)

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