NOT BUYING

This chapter. It's real. 

How many of you have ever watched a commercial for some product for women and said "There is no way in H-E-double hockey sticks that SHE is using THAT product."? I mean, seriously. I know that there are a lot of people out there who fall for it and buy the lip gloss or the shampoo or the makeup because someone they have seen and love in a movie is using it. I DOUBT it. That is no reason to make a decision about something you are buying. I am not buying it. I know, some of you are thinking- well you SELL makeup and skincare. Yes, I do. BUT I am not famous and trying to pull the wool over someone's eyes. I am a real wife and mom, trying to find a product that makes my skin feel great and is also not full of chemicals. Guess what? That is more of what I care about these days. Being healthy- not skinny. Being healthy- not wrinkle free. Being healthy- not the girl with microbladed eyebrows and a pound of makeup in the room. 

Society does try and make women panic. Panic about aging and gaining weight and cooking. Panic about it all. We are all in distress and need saving. NO! We are women who are fully capable of handling life. We were meant for this. God was no dummy when he put women on this Earth. He knew husbands and kids would need nurturing. He knew we could take care of them and would. We need to be proud of all the things we do. We need to stop looking at the wrinkles and get disgusted. We should instead view it as a privilege to grow old, which many do not get. We need to stop worrying about the few lbs we put on and how we look and start worrying about heart health, physical activity, and living a balanced life so that we can see our kids grow old. A few gray hairs? Oh well! An easy meal for your family instead of a pinterest worthy recipe- their bellies are full and happy, right? 

The bottom line- stop stressing! This wife and mom life is a GIFT. All of the things that society and commercials and social media want us to believe are important- well, half of them just aren't. Enjoy this life. Enjoy the day. You never know when it might be your last. Do you really want your last moments spent worrying about that line in the middle of your forehead? Move on ladies, life is worth LIVING. 

For the Love: Chapter 4 & 5

Chapter 4- Fashion Concerns:

This chapter seriously made me LOL! I cannot express to you how many of these thoughts about fashion I have had. Leggings and tights.... I could cringe just thinking about it! UGH! Not to say there isn't a place for leggings and tights... but please don't show your butt and lady parts- PLEASE! Cover that stuff up. I totally agree with her on this. She also hates man capris, workout pants, mom jeans, overalls, etc. I agree with some of that for sure! I will tell you some of the things in fashion that drive me crazy:

People who dress their kids like adults. Kids are kids. I love a good outfit, but I don't feel our kids should look like adults when they get dressed. There are some fashion statements that are not meant for children. My style is totally Mudpie.

People who dress their kids to the T, but don't take care of themselves. Come on momma, take some pride and time to look nice. If your kid looks like they just walked out of a GAP commercial, you could at least look Target style. 

Mismatching, wrinkled, frumpy clothes. There is a place for that-it is called "running to the store". Otherwise, again take some pride. If you are going somewhere, try and look nice. Iron those clothes, match. If you are at work, for sure,- please LOOK like you tried.

I know momming is hard and I know as women, we put ourselves on the back burner sometimes. We need to stop. We need to plan ahead, do whatever we need to do to make sure we are walking out feeling and looking good. Stop waiting to lose the weight, fit back into that size, stop sleeping too late to take time for yourself. You feel good when you look good. Our kids aren't the only ones that need that!

Chapter 5- Run Your Race

What are you good at? Stop being ashamed of it. This part of this chapter got me in the feelings: "I don't like it when people minimize their gifts. There is a difference between humility and insecurity, and self-effacement does no one any favors." AMEN! Be proud of what you do. Don't back down when someone praises you for the great things you are doing! Stand tall and be proud. Chances are, you have worked hard for what you have done. Don't belittle it or be shy about it. 

If you haven't found what you are good at yet, maybe it's time. Do you have a dream? Something you want to do but haven't tried yet? Now might be the time to make that happen. You might fail. You might succeed. Do you and run your race. Life is too short to sit around and wait for the perfect moment. Now is the time! I have tried several things over the years. I did some painting and hangers for people. I don't have the time for that now with the littles. I thought about signing up with Ever for a long time and I finally did it and I have been doing it for almost 2 years now. 

What fashion makes you cringe? 

What is your race and how can you start working toward that?

Chapter 3: On Calling and Haitian Moms

Point 1 from this chapter: Theology is either true everywhere or anywhere. Many times people get caught up in the "American Dream" mentality and think that is how God thinks. What about the single mom in Haiti? Does the fact that she is poor make all those promises of health and wealth to the faithful false? Just because she isn't married, does that make her not worthy? Try and think outside of your thoughts and stop speaking for what God thinks. God loves. He shows mercy and grace to all. We need to start thinking about loving everyone and not just who we think is worthy. God is the only one who has the right to judge.

Point 2: A calling... the dictionary defines it as: a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence.

Are you waiting on your calling? We all have a desire for a purpose in life. The key is to not pause our lives waiting on it. I can't tell you how many times I have said "When my kids get older"...."When the weather is better". Why do we do this to ourselves? We can live out our purpose in life now. The single, poor mom in Haiti does. She has no choice. She has to work and do her thing. She may not be famous and live a grand life, but she has a purpose, just like you and me. We are all worthy of the calling we have received, including her. Your calling may seem ordinary to you, but it  might make a huge difference for someone else.
What if we actually stopped worrying about a calling and started thinking of our GIFTS? You might be good at praying for others, encouraging others, serving others, teaching others, helping others...whatever it is- do it TODAY. Don't wait for something miraculous. Pray and ask God to show you what your gift is and how you can use it to help others and live out the purpose He has for your life. When you truly surrender to what he wants you to do with your gifts is when great things happen. What is your gift and how can you use it to bless others?

Chapter 2: Turning Forty

Chapter 2: On Turning Forty

I am not quite to 40 yet, but a few more years and I will be there. It is so true when they tell you that you never think you will get there. You spend your life thinking that you will be 20ish forever. Life goes by quickly, but I think we all know that.

What people don't tell you is that things change. You can't stay up as late. You don't like crowds as much and anything that is inconvenient. Music and movie tastes change. What you read changes. Your skin changes (I sell Ever if you need help with that www.everskin.com/with/melissaanderson) You also might not feel as cool. When you get around people who are younger, you will start to realize just how much you have changed. You forget things- omgosh all the time. Age, plus mom brain is a killer. You don't lose weight as easily.

Good change happens as well. You don't care what people think as much. You kinda find yourself the older you get. For me, things don't get me worked up as easily as they would in my 20s or even early 30s. You stop inviting people into your life that bring drama and stress.You find out who you can rely on and who really matters. You definitely feel that you would rather spend your days laughing and enjoy all the little moments rather than worrying and stressing and doing too much (again, back to that balance beam). Things change, but for the better.

How have things changed the older you've gotten? I can honestly say the changes that have happened on my end are ones that I would not give up to go back and be younger again. Life is good. What about you?

For the Love: Chapter 1- The Worst Beam

I am always looking for a good book. Recently, a friend of mine loaned me a book that she had read. It's called "For The Love" by Jen Hatmaker. The minute I picked it up and started reading, I knew this book was for me. This author gets it. I will be writing a little about some of the things she talks about. So, moms, wives, women.... listen up- this is about to get good.

Chapter 1: Worst Beam Ever

Balance: I laugh at this. People always talk about the perfect work and home balance. Yea, try as I may- I don't have that. Sometimes, some things get put on the back burner. Sometimes, some things don't get done as well as the other things. I have accepted it. What you can do is chose the things you CAN balance and put those on the beam and then chose the things you just CAN'T EVEN and those get put off, for now. For me- cooking a good dinner, playing with my kids, time with my husband, getting a good night's rest, going to church, spending time with family- those all get put on the beam. Those are important to me. Things that get put off the beam for now: Time with friends- I love you guys, but I don't have the time and energy right now. It's not like I don't want a girl's day. I just don't have it in me. Working out every day. Again, I love to do this, but I just can't seem to fit it in consistently so for now it's off the beam and I'll do it when I can.

There is the unattainable, ridiculous standard that we all feel as moms and wives that we have to meet. We think we have to do it all and do it all well. Stop exhausting yourself. It's not worth it. God did not put us here on this Earth to be exhausted, stressed out and at the end of our rope. He wants us to have joy and peace. Stop comparing yourself to others. Don't guilt people for making choices regarding their beam. God's gifts stare you in the face every day- do you see them? Every minute that you waste is a minute you will not get back. What can you do to stop worrying about balancing everything? What can you take off the beam to make life more joyful?

Reading with purpose

I love to read... there is nothing better than a good book-whether it is on the couch with a cup of coffee, on the beach listening to the waves roll in, or just a simple quick read when I have time (this is more the norm these days with two littles at home). I love to read for enjoyment, but I also find myself reading  more with a purpose these days- a purpose to grow in Christ, to be a better wife, and to be a better mom. Here are some things I have been reading lately.

I have said it before and I will say it again- I love first5.org . It is a daily devotional and simple, but helps you to grow closer to God and learn about scripture at the same time. 

My husband and I just started this challenge. While we don't get to it every night, because kids are demanding and we both work and are tired, we do our best. It has scripture to read, prayers to say, and acts to do together. It has been great for us and helps us to really have some in depth conversation about God, life, and so much more. I highly suggest it for anyone who is married and just looking to grow together in your journey and be closer to Him.

Another great book! It really gets you thinking about how you as a mother set the tone for your household. It is easy as a mom and wife to feel overwhelmed and tired. It is easy to let the negativity come over you. This helps you realize you are alone in a lot of those feelings that people just don't talk about enough. I think there is this false sense of what mom life is like. It is not all yoga pants, trips to target and Starbucks. It is HARD work. Today when I was reading, it talked about 10 things you can do to create a home of warmth and grace. Get Rest, Time with God, Simplify Schedules, Clutter Busting, Give Up Perfection, Meal Plan, Schedule Mom Time Out, Play Music, Give Grace for Limitations, and Scripture Memory.

I try to do many of these. The ones that spoke to me most today were Give Up Perfection and Scripture Memory. I am too hard on myself and lately I have had to really take a step back and say "It is ok that the house is a little messy, we live here and it's not for show".... "It's ok if it doesn't get done today"- I am not perfect. The Scripture Memory is something I want to try and do with my family. I am going to be looking for a cute way to display a scripture every week and work on that. 

What are some books that you read for enjoyment on for a purpose? I am always looking for suggestions! 

Don’t miss out...

I have let food control me.

I have let it stop me from ordering what I really want, fearful that the person behind me in line would judge me for my order, thinking I am too fat to eat that.

I have let it keep me home in fear of going out to a party, event or whatever else and not having food that fit my diet or my macros available. 

I have let it stop me from enjoying that meal or drink or piece of cake. 

How sad is that. 

I am done doing that. 

As most of you know, I am on my postpartum journey. I am almost 2 months postpartum. I am struggling with my thyroid again (I have Hashimoto’s and hypothyroidism). I haven’t lost any weight in weeks. I have lost inches which I am happy with. I have counted calories and worked with my macros. I am also working out with Beachbody and currently doing Transform 20. I am trying to be more conscious of what I am eating and not eating junk food. 

All of that is great. It is. 

You know what is better? 

I went out to eat with family and ordered what I wanted instead of getting the high protein meal.

I ate 2 snow cones this week and got an amazing frozen coffee and felt no guilt.

I couldn’t fit what we were having for dinner for my husbands birthday into my macros today and you know what? I ate it anyways. I enjoyed a burger and had a piece of cake.

I didn’t miss out on life. Memories. Time with family.

I  also ate my feelings yesterday when my kids wouldn’t nap, I was exhausted and the day seemed it would never end. 

Does it mean I’ll gain weight? Does it mean I lost sight of my goals? 

No. 

What it means is I am human. I know I am not going to go the rest of my life without a burger. I am not going to ever permanently remove a food from my diet. I am not going to hit my calorie range or macros goal every single day. I am still going to keep going for my goal. Is that a number on the scale? A size? No. It’s when I feel healthy and fit. Comfortable in my skin. 

Right now- this is my body. This is where I am on this journey. I will embrace it and keep moving forward. I won’t feel guilty for enjoying life. 

One time a person who I love dearly told me she missed out on so much in life because of her weight and wanting to avoid going out at that size or the temptation of food. She said if she could go back again, the things she would do! Don’t be that person. Be human. Enjoy life. Just find a balance with that and your goals.

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