For the Love: Chapter 1- The Worst Beam

I am always looking for a good book. Recently, a friend of mine loaned me a book that she had read. It's called "For The Love" by Jen Hatmaker. The minute I picked it up and started reading, I knew this book was for me. This author gets it. I will be writing a little about some of the things she talks about. So, moms, wives, women.... listen up- this is about to get good.

Chapter 1: Worst Beam Ever

Balance: I laugh at this. People always talk about the perfect work and home balance. Yea, try as I may- I don't have that. Sometimes, some things get put on the back burner. Sometimes, some things don't get done as well as the other things. I have accepted it. What you can do is chose the things you CAN balance and put those on the beam and then chose the things you just CAN'T EVEN and those get put off, for now. For me- cooking a good dinner, playing with my kids, time with my husband, getting a good night's rest, going to church, spending time with family- those all get put on the beam. Those are important to me. Things that get put off the beam for now: Time with friends- I love you guys, but I don't have the time and energy right now. It's not like I don't want a girl's day. I just don't have it in me. Working out every day. Again, I love to do this, but I just can't seem to fit it in consistently so for now it's off the beam and I'll do it when I can.

There is the unattainable, ridiculous standard that we all feel as moms and wives that we have to meet. We think we have to do it all and do it all well. Stop exhausting yourself. It's not worth it. God did not put us here on this Earth to be exhausted, stressed out and at the end of our rope. He wants us to have joy and peace. Stop comparing yourself to others. Don't guilt people for making choices regarding their beam. God's gifts stare you in the face every day- do you see them? Every minute that you waste is a minute you will not get back. What can you do to stop worrying about balancing everything? What can you take off the beam to make life more joyful?

A sustainable lifestyle change!

I cannot tell you how many diets I have tried in my many years of struggling with self image and my weight. If you check out my story here on the blog you will see that I have fluctuated up and down with weight my entire life. I am just not one of those naturally thin people. Here are just a few things I’ve tried:

Weight watchers
South beach diet
Keto 
Low carb
The bro diet (think tilapia and broccoli A LOT)
Calorie counting
1200 calories only
Starving myself basically
Cutting out all sugar and foods deemed “bad”
Diet pills to suppress my appetite
The GM diet or military diet

Those are just SOME of the diets I can think of right now. I am sure there were more. I would lose and then I would get off and gain. I never stuck with anything too long. It was all a struggle. I would cheat and binge occasionally because everything felt restrictive. To me, that’s the problem with anything that restricts a certain food or deems foods as good or bad. You ultimately end up wanting what you can't have MORE than you might normally because you have told yourself you can’t have it. 

That was the truth for me. I couldn’t do it anymore. I was tired of failing. I was tired of beating myself up. I HAD to find something different. That’s when I found Ledbetter and macros. It was the ONLY thing that I have continuously gone back to, time and time again. It is truly a lifestyle. It doesn’t restrict ANYTHING. Cookies- fine. Cake- ok. Donuts-sure. MODERATION is the key. BALANCE is the lifestyle. I don’t know about you but I don’t want any eating plan that doesn’t involve those things or some of my favorite foods. Macros doesn’t tell you to go eat ALL these things all day, but it allows them. It allows you to find balance with proteins, fats and carbs. You do have to weigh and track what you eat and make a plan, but overall it allows you freedom. Freedom to decide to have a donut but know you will have to have a protein rich meal later to meet your daily goal. When I was in the absolute BEST shape of my life I would have a day when I would eat egg whites and grilled chicken, maybe a protein shake, make a hamburger for dinner, some popcorn or ice cream.... it was all balanced. I never felt guilty or deprived. The weight came off. It stayed off. One thing I learned is you have to pick something you can stick with, something that will work long term. Short term solutions give you just that- short term success. 

How do you do it? I have calculated my own macros before and I'd be happy to help. I also know several amazing coaches that can do it and have the accountability piece built in so you check in with them weekly. You may have tried everything else- why not try this? I will be heading back to the macros arena as soon as I have baby Lydia is April and get adjusted. I can't wait. This is my last baby and there is no better time to get in the best shape of my life. I know with macros and exercise I can do it. Are you ready? 
Feel free to message me or email me if you'd like some help with how to get started!
msenseney05@aol.com 

Working mom life

Question 1: What do you think is the biggest challenge faced by mothers in the workplace?
I think a big challenge for working moms is wanting to always be good at everything that you do at work and at home. It doesn't always work out that way. I think it's important as a working mom to realize that everything will not always been perfectly balanced. There will be times when something gets more attention than something else. It doesn't mean you aren't doing a good job, it just means you are human.

Question 2: What is the most important piece of advice you have for mothers who are pursuing a career?

Find something that you like to do. It is so much harder to get up every day and go to a job that you don't like. When you like what you do and can look forward to it, it makes it easier to wake up and go, even if it means leaving those kids at home. Also, give yourself GRACE- every mother needs grace in all things we do. 

Question 3: As a mother, how do you explain to smaller children why you have to spend time away at work?

I have always worked. My son was 4 months old when I returned to work. He doesn't know any different. He stays home with his grandmothers, so he gets to bond and spend time with them. He loves it honestly and I think it is really good for him. He knows mommy and daddy come home at the end of the day. We also both work in education so we have lots of time off to spend with him. 

Question 4: What can professional mothers do to manage their time better?

I talked about this last week. ROUTINE. CONSISTENCY. HAVING A PLAN. As a working mom, I have to have a plan. Now, that plan does not always work out perfectly, BUT I have one. I am flexible when things come up, you have to be as a mom, but overall having routines and a plan make me feel more sane for sure.

Question 5: Does raising kids teach you any skills that you can use in the workplace?

Patience. My son has taught me an incredible amount of patience. I also don't worry about so much like I used to. I try not to stress the small stuff and focus on what's really important in life. He definitely has taught me about what matters in life. 

Question 6: What should professional mothers consider before starting employment at a new company?

I would say with any job change you need to ensure that it is a good fit for what you want for yourself and your family. How will the hours change? Will they be flexible about things because you are a working mom? Commute? Pay? All good things to look at. Change is always hard, but it might be the right choice for your family if it makes going to work easier and you can maintain family as #1. 

Question 7: Lots of professional mothers feel guilt when making sacrifices. How do you deal with this guilt?

I think it is really important to leave work at work. I try my hardest to work when I am working and to be present at home when I am at home. I make an effort every day to make sure I spend time with my son doing something he wants to do. Mom guilt is real. I don't think there is a mom out there that would say she wouldn't rather be home with her kids. BUT we don't all have that option for one and for two some of us actually enjoy working. I would say WORK TO LIVE and NOT LIVE TO WORK.

How do you balance working mom life? What tips can you give?