Are you a spicy or sweet family?

Spicy: Loud, humorous, sarcastic, passionate, emotional, default setting: exclamation marks

Sweet: quiet, don't raise their voices, everything seems on point and perfect

My family...ALL of my family falls into the SPICY category. It's just the way we are. How does that translate into parenting? I think it makes you worry about everything- did you say something bad? Will your kid pick up the words, should you slip and cuss? Will they not be kind? The list goes on and on and on. As mothers, I think we all worry we suck at it. YET, and this is important- we build up other women in our lives. We encourage and lift them up. We just are way too hard on ourselves sometimes. No parent is perfect. Everyone has hard days. Everyone messes up. Everyone does or says the wrong thing. All at the same time- everyone is trying. Trying to raise kids that are loved, nurtured, and will one day be happy and successful people in society. 

Jen talks in this chapter about a childhood that is "mostly good". She says that translates into "loved and safe". I have to agree with her. How will kids know what conflict is? How will they know what it is like to not get their way or lose at something? How will they know emotion? Stress? Worry? Panic? If they never see these things from the people they love most- their parents- they won't know what to do when they are faced with it one day. Be real, as parents. Embrace the spicy moments. Stop being so hard on yourself and striving to be something you just aren't meant to be. We are all on the struggle bus doing this incredibly hard and challenging job of parenting. You are not alone. 

Is your family SPICY or SWEET?

Thank you notes..... Chapter 8

Jimmy Fallon's segments on Thank You notes is the best. I totally agree with Jen on this one.

Here are my Thank You notes for today.....


Thank you COFFEE... you make life possible. If I did not have coffee, I would not survive motherhood. My kids make me more exhausted than I ever thought I could ever be in my LIFE. Lydia woke me up at 3:30 and didn't go back to sleep until 5:00 and then my alarm went off at 5:45. Cue LOTS of coffee today. 

Thank you AC/Heat for making the hormonal life of a pregnant or nursing mom bearable. Cue sweating for no reason and then freezing for the same no reason.

Thank you baby wipes for always being there for me no matter what it is I need you for. Messy hands, explosive diapers, snotty noses, dog poop, food everywhere... you always get the job done.

Thank you sweets for being there when I am stressed and worried and upset.... some days a cookie is worth way more than losing a pound. It's a part of life. 

Thank you straightener for making me look presentable, even on the days when I fall asleep with a wet head and wake up scaring myself- you make it work.

Thank you Ever and Rowe Casa- between these two products I can look alive even when I feel like I might not make it at all.

Thank you fruit snacks for being the cure all to my toddler's meltdowns. You can stop a meltdown in a second.

In all seriousness- Thank you God for this beautiful, messy life! There are bad days and good days, sad days, mad days, messy days, stressed days and more... but every day is a GIFT and I don't thank you enough.

Tell the truth!

Tell the Truth

Another great chapter, another great message. How many of you feel you have to polish things, make them look pretty, pinterest and insta worthy? UGH! What about letting things be REAL. If it's sad, be sad. If it's hard, let it be hard. If it's confusing, be confused. Not everything in life will go in a neat little box with a bow. Stop fooling yourself and everyone else. Be human. Being human means you can change your mind and take time to figure things out. You can do things without apologizing for feeling a certain way.

What keeps us from telling the truth about things? People. Other people. What will they say? What will they think? Who cares! Keep those you can trust with the truth close and dear. Let the haters be just that- haters! In the same respect, stop trying to fix everyone and everything. Some situations and some people are not meant to be fixed.

Bring all things to the light and tell the truth. God has this. He will be there to make things less scary and overwhelming. When we do things for Him and with Him, everything becomes real and just a part of our story- messy or not.

NOT BUYING

This chapter. It's real. 

How many of you have ever watched a commercial for some product for women and said "There is no way in H-E-double hockey sticks that SHE is using THAT product."? I mean, seriously. I know that there are a lot of people out there who fall for it and buy the lip gloss or the shampoo or the makeup because someone they have seen and love in a movie is using it. I DOUBT it. That is no reason to make a decision about something you are buying. I am not buying it. I know, some of you are thinking- well you SELL makeup and skincare. Yes, I do. BUT I am not famous and trying to pull the wool over someone's eyes. I am a real wife and mom, trying to find a product that makes my skin feel great and is also not full of chemicals. Guess what? That is more of what I care about these days. Being healthy- not skinny. Being healthy- not wrinkle free. Being healthy- not the girl with microbladed eyebrows and a pound of makeup in the room. 

Society does try and make women panic. Panic about aging and gaining weight and cooking. Panic about it all. We are all in distress and need saving. NO! We are women who are fully capable of handling life. We were meant for this. God was no dummy when he put women on this Earth. He knew husbands and kids would need nurturing. He knew we could take care of them and would. We need to be proud of all the things we do. We need to stop looking at the wrinkles and get disgusted. We should instead view it as a privilege to grow old, which many do not get. We need to stop worrying about the few lbs we put on and how we look and start worrying about heart health, physical activity, and living a balanced life so that we can see our kids grow old. A few gray hairs? Oh well! An easy meal for your family instead of a pinterest worthy recipe- their bellies are full and happy, right? 

The bottom line- stop stressing! This wife and mom life is a GIFT. All of the things that society and commercials and social media want us to believe are important- well, half of them just aren't. Enjoy this life. Enjoy the day. You never know when it might be your last. Do you really want your last moments spent worrying about that line in the middle of your forehead? Move on ladies, life is worth LIVING. 

For the Love: Chapter 4 & 5

Chapter 4- Fashion Concerns:

This chapter seriously made me LOL! I cannot express to you how many of these thoughts about fashion I have had. Leggings and tights.... I could cringe just thinking about it! UGH! Not to say there isn't a place for leggings and tights... but please don't show your butt and lady parts- PLEASE! Cover that stuff up. I totally agree with her on this. She also hates man capris, workout pants, mom jeans, overalls, etc. I agree with some of that for sure! I will tell you some of the things in fashion that drive me crazy:

People who dress their kids like adults. Kids are kids. I love a good outfit, but I don't feel our kids should look like adults when they get dressed. There are some fashion statements that are not meant for children. My style is totally Mudpie.

People who dress their kids to the T, but don't take care of themselves. Come on momma, take some pride and time to look nice. If your kid looks like they just walked out of a GAP commercial, you could at least look Target style. 

Mismatching, wrinkled, frumpy clothes. There is a place for that-it is called "running to the store". Otherwise, again take some pride. If you are going somewhere, try and look nice. Iron those clothes, match. If you are at work, for sure,- please LOOK like you tried.

I know momming is hard and I know as women, we put ourselves on the back burner sometimes. We need to stop. We need to plan ahead, do whatever we need to do to make sure we are walking out feeling and looking good. Stop waiting to lose the weight, fit back into that size, stop sleeping too late to take time for yourself. You feel good when you look good. Our kids aren't the only ones that need that!

Chapter 5- Run Your Race

What are you good at? Stop being ashamed of it. This part of this chapter got me in the feelings: "I don't like it when people minimize their gifts. There is a difference between humility and insecurity, and self-effacement does no one any favors." AMEN! Be proud of what you do. Don't back down when someone praises you for the great things you are doing! Stand tall and be proud. Chances are, you have worked hard for what you have done. Don't belittle it or be shy about it. 

If you haven't found what you are good at yet, maybe it's time. Do you have a dream? Something you want to do but haven't tried yet? Now might be the time to make that happen. You might fail. You might succeed. Do you and run your race. Life is too short to sit around and wait for the perfect moment. Now is the time! I have tried several things over the years. I did some painting and hangers for people. I don't have the time for that now with the littles. I thought about signing up with Ever for a long time and I finally did it and I have been doing it for almost 2 years now. 

What fashion makes you cringe? 

What is your race and how can you start working toward that?

Chapter 3: On Calling and Haitian Moms

Point 1 from this chapter: Theology is either true everywhere or anywhere. Many times people get caught up in the "American Dream" mentality and think that is how God thinks. What about the single mom in Haiti? Does the fact that she is poor make all those promises of health and wealth to the faithful false? Just because she isn't married, does that make her not worthy? Try and think outside of your thoughts and stop speaking for what God thinks. God loves. He shows mercy and grace to all. We need to start thinking about loving everyone and not just who we think is worthy. God is the only one who has the right to judge.

Point 2: A calling... the dictionary defines it as: a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence.

Are you waiting on your calling? We all have a desire for a purpose in life. The key is to not pause our lives waiting on it. I can't tell you how many times I have said "When my kids get older"...."When the weather is better". Why do we do this to ourselves? We can live out our purpose in life now. The single, poor mom in Haiti does. She has no choice. She has to work and do her thing. She may not be famous and live a grand life, but she has a purpose, just like you and me. We are all worthy of the calling we have received, including her. Your calling may seem ordinary to you, but it  might make a huge difference for someone else.
What if we actually stopped worrying about a calling and started thinking of our GIFTS? You might be good at praying for others, encouraging others, serving others, teaching others, helping others...whatever it is- do it TODAY. Don't wait for something miraculous. Pray and ask God to show you what your gift is and how you can use it to help others and live out the purpose He has for your life. When you truly surrender to what he wants you to do with your gifts is when great things happen. What is your gift and how can you use it to bless others?

Chapter 2: Turning Forty

Chapter 2: On Turning Forty

I am not quite to 40 yet, but a few more years and I will be there. It is so true when they tell you that you never think you will get there. You spend your life thinking that you will be 20ish forever. Life goes by quickly, but I think we all know that.

What people don't tell you is that things change. You can't stay up as late. You don't like crowds as much and anything that is inconvenient. Music and movie tastes change. What you read changes. Your skin changes (I sell Ever if you need help with that www.everskin.com/with/melissaanderson) You also might not feel as cool. When you get around people who are younger, you will start to realize just how much you have changed. You forget things- omgosh all the time. Age, plus mom brain is a killer. You don't lose weight as easily.

Good change happens as well. You don't care what people think as much. You kinda find yourself the older you get. For me, things don't get me worked up as easily as they would in my 20s or even early 30s. You stop inviting people into your life that bring drama and stress.You find out who you can rely on and who really matters. You definitely feel that you would rather spend your days laughing and enjoy all the little moments rather than worrying and stressing and doing too much (again, back to that balance beam). Things change, but for the better.

How have things changed the older you've gotten? I can honestly say the changes that have happened on my end are ones that I would not give up to go back and be younger again. Life is good. What about you?